"Ethan go school, Mummy stay home wait for Ethan" - the usual chant continues. Ethan seems to be comforted whenever he says that and sees me nod to it. He's certainly no longer resisting the idea of attending school. Yet, the day started off bad still. He turned in late on Sunday night, so we had a rushed breakfast. In the hurry, he choked on an hard-boiled egg, and threw up almost the entire breakfast, leaving home only with 4oz of milk in his stomach. I usually flare up when he vomits... So this is no exception. It didn't help that we were almost late for school, and just like typical kids of Ethan's age, the concept of time and punctuality has not kicked in yet. And only the parents get anxious as the minutes ticked away.
When I met Ethan at noon, the first thing that caught my eye was a bruise on his right cheek. The teacher explained that he had a fall during outdoor play that morning while running about. It was a slight bruise but it still got me concerned. Thankfully, he was dressed in long pants and long-sleeved sweater; those probably prevented scrapes on his arms and knees. I gathered from Ethan that he had run into a table in the outdoor play area in school. Well, from now onwards, I have a clear example to remind him to be cautious when he's running around.
The cries for the day began after lunch. Ethan knew I was fetching him back to school for his nap and he still does not wish to sleep in the common room with the other pupils. So repeatedly, he said, "I want to sleep in school." By that, he really meant his own classroom. I told him that we would ask his teacher if she would allow it, and that I cannot decide. I tried explaining the possible scenario that his teacher might once again be required to watch over all the kids and cannot afford to have him sleep alone in a separate room. I questioned why he refused to sleep in the common room, and suggested if it was because he was afraid of the other children. He said yes, but couldn't continue to explain why he has that fear. So the whining, and crying lasted for the whole time that I was getting him ready for school after lunch. Perhaps softened by his fall, as well as the cold that he's caught (he had watery eyes, and a mucous-filled nose), I was able to keep my cool through all his fussing, and spoke with him in an even tone. Believe it or not, he fell asleep once we got out of the house and onto the streets. I basically carried a sleeping Ethan all the way from home to the common napping room; he was fully asleep by then and did not struggle even through all my handling of removing his jacket, bag, shoes and pants. I had a chance to enter the napping room this time, and saw how it was. I would say there were about 50 children lying on individual canvas safari beds on roller wheels in a quiet and dimly lit room. There were 2-3 teachers watching over them, checking on their comforters or staying by the side of a couple of children who were still falling asleep.
At 4.30pm, Ethan was the first to dash out of his classroom again. He asked to look at my watch then, and was happy to see the hands at 4 and 6. And he swiftly turned his head to ask for candy - his daily reward for completing the day's school.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
2nd Week of School
It has been a roller-coaster week in terms of how Ethan coped in school. Up to last Tuesday, there were the usual moans and groans, whines and whimpers, tears and even nightmares before he got to school. In particular, he had a tough night's sleep on Sunday, waking up several times in the middle of the night, and tossed and turned a lot; we concluded that it was due to stress over the next day's school. Over the weekend, in his paranoia, he had also asked several times if he was going for school those couple of days.
The most difficult day for both Ethan and I was Tuesday. He cried hard before leaving home for school in the morning, and it was tiring to repeat the coaxing and comforting process after lunch. It didn't help that we had to fetch him to school once again for a parent-teacher meet that evening. So it was in fact, 3 rounds of comforting from me... Top that up with a briefing conducted solely in french, where everything sounded like gibberish to me after the 1st 10 minutes, I was absolutely mentally and emotionally drained at the end of that day.
But magically, Ethan had a wonderful Thursday and Friday. I suspect it was due to a good Wednesday break for him - an interesting morning library visit for him (where he actually picked out a french storybook to read and understood it with my help), a short afternoon music lesson which he enjoyed thoroughly, and a couple of carousel rides on a "Thomas the Train" nearby home in the evening. In fact, he was pretty cheery as I brought him to school on Thursday, and almost couldn't wait to enter his classroom; I had to hold on to him to remove his jackets and bag, put on his apron before letting him run off into the classroom.
His mood dipped during lunch on Friday. When I met him at noon, he started tearing as if he had been bullied at school or people had been unkind to him. Yet, he couldn't reply to my probing as to what had happened that morning, and simply continued to tear a little while. But that was just a small outburst. His mood dipped a lot more after lunch, when I brought him back for his nap. That was because he found out that he had to nap together with the rest of the pupils in his class. Previously, he had always got his way in sleeping on his own in a separate classroom. It is puzzling for me as to why he would have such a reaction. But hopefully, given time, he would adapt to the normal arrangement. Incidentally, I found out that his concept of "school" is that of just his classroom and not the entire premise. He was gesturing to his usual classroom when he cried aloud, "Ethan sleep in school!", and furiously shook his head when the teacher and I tried to coax him into the adjacent room where the rest of the pupils slept. At the end of the day, the teacher's feedback was that he had continued to cry inside the napping room but managed to fall asleep eventually. I noticed Ethan had moist eyes as I picked him up that evening.
This entire episode of crying over naps in the common room tells me that Ethan is not ready to go through the entire day in school yet. For the week to come, I shall continue to fetch him back during lunchtime for a home-cooked meal and pray that he would get used to sleeping with the rest of the kids. One step at a time for little Ethan.
The most difficult day for both Ethan and I was Tuesday. He cried hard before leaving home for school in the morning, and it was tiring to repeat the coaxing and comforting process after lunch. It didn't help that we had to fetch him to school once again for a parent-teacher meet that evening. So it was in fact, 3 rounds of comforting from me... Top that up with a briefing conducted solely in french, where everything sounded like gibberish to me after the 1st 10 minutes, I was absolutely mentally and emotionally drained at the end of that day.
But magically, Ethan had a wonderful Thursday and Friday. I suspect it was due to a good Wednesday break for him - an interesting morning library visit for him (where he actually picked out a french storybook to read and understood it with my help), a short afternoon music lesson which he enjoyed thoroughly, and a couple of carousel rides on a "Thomas the Train" nearby home in the evening. In fact, he was pretty cheery as I brought him to school on Thursday, and almost couldn't wait to enter his classroom; I had to hold on to him to remove his jackets and bag, put on his apron before letting him run off into the classroom.
His mood dipped during lunch on Friday. When I met him at noon, he started tearing as if he had been bullied at school or people had been unkind to him. Yet, he couldn't reply to my probing as to what had happened that morning, and simply continued to tear a little while. But that was just a small outburst. His mood dipped a lot more after lunch, when I brought him back for his nap. That was because he found out that he had to nap together with the rest of the pupils in his class. Previously, he had always got his way in sleeping on his own in a separate classroom. It is puzzling for me as to why he would have such a reaction. But hopefully, given time, he would adapt to the normal arrangement. Incidentally, I found out that his concept of "school" is that of just his classroom and not the entire premise. He was gesturing to his usual classroom when he cried aloud, "Ethan sleep in school!", and furiously shook his head when the teacher and I tried to coax him into the adjacent room where the rest of the pupils slept. At the end of the day, the teacher's feedback was that he had continued to cry inside the napping room but managed to fall asleep eventually. I noticed Ethan had moist eyes as I picked him up that evening.
This entire episode of crying over naps in the common room tells me that Ethan is not ready to go through the entire day in school yet. For the week to come, I shall continue to fetch him back during lunchtime for a home-cooked meal and pray that he would get used to sleeping with the rest of the kids. One step at a time for little Ethan.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
5th Day of School
After a mid-week break, Ethan was happy to know that there's school on Thursday. It was a little tough to get him up by 7am in the morning because he turned in late the night before and the sky outside still looked dark (autumn is almost here... I wonder how we'll handle winter when the sun rises late!). Still, we made it to school on time, with the same usual morning rush. Today marks the 1st time he walked into his classroom with absolutely no tears. In fact, he boldly stepped in, and after a solid "bye", he continued on his own business in the classroom. Both his teacher and myself were truly impressed by his behaviour! And I'm really happy for Ethan for his quick adaptation.
When I picked him up for lunch, I saw a really peaceful scene - the teacher, sandwiched between Ethan and one other kid, was reading a book to them. As Ethan turned around and noticed my arrival, he once again jumped up and hurried towards me, looking very pleased and comforted.
We had ample time at home for lunch, so much so that he could move his bowels and I clean him up after that. But subsequently, he started acting up for school again. I suspect it could be afternoon fatigue fussiness as well. As I carried him back to school, he started dozing off! I tried my best to keep him awake so that I could prepare him for his nap in school - remove his jackets and belongings, take off his trousers and shoes. In his drowsy state, he started crying about school. The teacher's arrival by my side only added to his agony. But he knew I had to go. And as I got out of sight from him, I noticed he quickly quietened down and followed the teacher's lead readily. The teacher brought him to pee, then to his classroom to collect a yellow toy car, and finally to the adjacent room for the nap. (Incidentally, I guess Ethan has marked this particular toy as his sleep comfort object; I vaguely remember that he had taken the same toy for a previous day's nap.) I could tell that Ethan was making a clear effort to remain quiet as he made his way into the sleep room so as not to disturb his peers who were already in slumberland.
As I picked Ethan up after school, I had a chance to put Lionel in touch with the teacher via my phone and here's the feedback: Ethan is doing well, no more crying in class. It was a good idea to break his day in school by bringing him home for lunch. He still prefers to play alone and doesn't know how to share but that will come. Well, pray that Ethan will continue to settle down in school and learn to interact with others in a social setting. I suppose that will come also when he understands more of the French language, like me.
When I picked him up for lunch, I saw a really peaceful scene - the teacher, sandwiched between Ethan and one other kid, was reading a book to them. As Ethan turned around and noticed my arrival, he once again jumped up and hurried towards me, looking very pleased and comforted.
We had ample time at home for lunch, so much so that he could move his bowels and I clean him up after that. But subsequently, he started acting up for school again. I suspect it could be afternoon fatigue fussiness as well. As I carried him back to school, he started dozing off! I tried my best to keep him awake so that I could prepare him for his nap in school - remove his jackets and belongings, take off his trousers and shoes. In his drowsy state, he started crying about school. The teacher's arrival by my side only added to his agony. But he knew I had to go. And as I got out of sight from him, I noticed he quickly quietened down and followed the teacher's lead readily. The teacher brought him to pee, then to his classroom to collect a yellow toy car, and finally to the adjacent room for the nap. (Incidentally, I guess Ethan has marked this particular toy as his sleep comfort object; I vaguely remember that he had taken the same toy for a previous day's nap.) I could tell that Ethan was making a clear effort to remain quiet as he made his way into the sleep room so as not to disturb his peers who were already in slumberland.
As I picked Ethan up after school, I had a chance to put Lionel in touch with the teacher via my phone and here's the feedback: Ethan is doing well, no more crying in class. It was a good idea to break his day in school by bringing him home for lunch. He still prefers to play alone and doesn't know how to share but that will come. Well, pray that Ethan will continue to settle down in school and learn to interact with others in a social setting. I suppose that will come also when he understands more of the French language, like me.
4th Day of School
Ethan still feels a little apprehensive towards school. As if trying to convince himself that I would be back for him, he would repeatedly say this, "Daddy go work, Ethan go school and Mummy stay at home. Bell rinnngggggg.... Mummy come pick Ethan home." He sobbed slightly and whimpered as I prepared him for school in the morning, and as I removed his jackets and belongings at school. But he was willing to step into his classroom on his own, turn around to say "bye", before entering the classroom further. He looked sad, but he still made it! He's a brave and strong boy.
For lunch, I was told to pick Ethan up from a different room because his teacher had gate duties to perform. I suspected that Ethan wouldn't take the change too well, and true enough, I noticed tears on his cheek when I found him in the other room. But the sulking was transient.
It was a rainy day in Amiens. Although it was rather cumbersome to have to carry Ethan to and fro school in the drizzle, allowing Ethan to be my umbrella carrier turned out to be a great distractor/mood uplifter for him. He was amused whenever a strong gust of wind blew and he felt the tug against the umbrella, threatening to blow it out of his hands. This helped especially over the lunch period. As we headed home for lunch, he was teased by the umbrella. And at the end of lunch as I was getting him ready through his cries of "Ethan no sleep!", umbrella fun once again kicked in on street level, and we had a happy time walking to school. But of course, this distraction only lasted about 5 mins. And as I handed him over to the teacher for his nap, he started crying like the 1st couple of days in school. I left after repeatedly telling him that I would return at 4.30pm.
As far as I could gather from the teacher, he had a good 2hr nap at school, and woke up without crying. When I met him at 4.30pm, he was once again exhilarated and dashed out of the classroom. Thereafter, it was more umbrella fun for Ethan as we headed home; he even sang out loud through the raindrops!
For lunch, I was told to pick Ethan up from a different room because his teacher had gate duties to perform. I suspected that Ethan wouldn't take the change too well, and true enough, I noticed tears on his cheek when I found him in the other room. But the sulking was transient.
It was a rainy day in Amiens. Although it was rather cumbersome to have to carry Ethan to and fro school in the drizzle, allowing Ethan to be my umbrella carrier turned out to be a great distractor/mood uplifter for him. He was amused whenever a strong gust of wind blew and he felt the tug against the umbrella, threatening to blow it out of his hands. This helped especially over the lunch period. As we headed home for lunch, he was teased by the umbrella. And at the end of lunch as I was getting him ready through his cries of "Ethan no sleep!", umbrella fun once again kicked in on street level, and we had a happy time walking to school. But of course, this distraction only lasted about 5 mins. And as I handed him over to the teacher for his nap, he started crying like the 1st couple of days in school. I left after repeatedly telling him that I would return at 4.30pm.
As far as I could gather from the teacher, he had a good 2hr nap at school, and woke up without crying. When I met him at 4.30pm, he was once again exhilarated and dashed out of the classroom. Thereafter, it was more umbrella fun for Ethan as we headed home; he even sang out loud through the raindrops!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
3rd Day of School
After last Friday's traumatic experience, we decided to split Ethan's day in school into half. At lunchtime, I brought him home, and made sure he had a substantial, nourishing meal. Judging from what the school serves at lunch, I presume he would eat more at home.
Ethan was thrilled to see me at noon. When I arrived outside his classroom to pick him up, there were only 3 students in the class, each doing his own stuff, with the lead teacher supervising them. I had not asked how Ethan fared in this first half of the day in my rush to get Ethan home for lunch.
As I walked Ethan back to our apartment, I told him that we would be returning to school after lunch. He responded with sad frowns, almost tearing. But I persisted. At the end of lunch, as I redressed him and got him ready, he started sobbing and repeatedly asked not to return to school. But I kept my cool and continued to assure him that I'd be back to pick him up after the school bell rings. When I finally handed him over to the teacher, he looked truly upset, and was tearing badly. But I knew I had to leave. Incidentally, I witnessed how the teacher prepares them for their nap. She would remove their shoes and pants, leave their underwear on, and offer them their snuggle toys, if they had any. Ethan remained somewhat oblivious to the teacher's handling and continued to cry and whine about my departure. I could only walk away with a heavy heart and hope that the teacher copes eventually. There were several thoughts going through me after this episode: is it really better to have Ethan go through 2 times of crying each day (because I leave him twice), or just once? Would home-schooling for his kindergarten be an overall better option for him?
After a worrisome afternoon for me, I returned to fetch Ethan at 4.30pm. And to my surprise, he was in a jolly good mood! He still dashed out of his classroom eagerly to give me a hug but I could sense that he didn't have such a tough afternoon afterall. Upon asking the teacher, I found out that after his crying struggle, he fell asleep, looking out from the window in the main classroom, and had a decent 1hr nap. And he didn't cry at all after waking up, and did well in class. That was comforting to hear. And as I led Ethan out from school, offering him a Pocky snack, he hopped and skipped occasionally, broke out into singing aloud and was happily naming the colours of all the cars he saw along the streets. My spirits certainly turned for the better from then on, except for the usual afternoon fatigue that crept in.
Ethan was thrilled to see me at noon. When I arrived outside his classroom to pick him up, there were only 3 students in the class, each doing his own stuff, with the lead teacher supervising them. I had not asked how Ethan fared in this first half of the day in my rush to get Ethan home for lunch.
As I walked Ethan back to our apartment, I told him that we would be returning to school after lunch. He responded with sad frowns, almost tearing. But I persisted. At the end of lunch, as I redressed him and got him ready, he started sobbing and repeatedly asked not to return to school. But I kept my cool and continued to assure him that I'd be back to pick him up after the school bell rings. When I finally handed him over to the teacher, he looked truly upset, and was tearing badly. But I knew I had to leave. Incidentally, I witnessed how the teacher prepares them for their nap. She would remove their shoes and pants, leave their underwear on, and offer them their snuggle toys, if they had any. Ethan remained somewhat oblivious to the teacher's handling and continued to cry and whine about my departure. I could only walk away with a heavy heart and hope that the teacher copes eventually. There were several thoughts going through me after this episode: is it really better to have Ethan go through 2 times of crying each day (because I leave him twice), or just once? Would home-schooling for his kindergarten be an overall better option for him?
After a worrisome afternoon for me, I returned to fetch Ethan at 4.30pm. And to my surprise, he was in a jolly good mood! He still dashed out of his classroom eagerly to give me a hug but I could sense that he didn't have such a tough afternoon afterall. Upon asking the teacher, I found out that after his crying struggle, he fell asleep, looking out from the window in the main classroom, and had a decent 1hr nap. And he didn't cry at all after waking up, and did well in class. That was comforting to hear. And as I led Ethan out from school, offering him a Pocky snack, he hopped and skipped occasionally, broke out into singing aloud and was happily naming the colours of all the cars he saw along the streets. My spirits certainly turned for the better from then on, except for the usual afternoon fatigue that crept in.
Monday, September 5, 2011
2nd Day of School
Today was a full day for him. Started at 8.45am, lunch from 12nn to 1.30pm, followed by nap and activities till 4.30pm. When I sent him to school, he cried for the 1st 10-15min upon entering the classroom. Peeping through the window, I left after seeing that he had quietened down.
This is the scene outside school near 4.30pm. Many parents standing around to await the opening of the blue doors through which they enter to fetch their kids.
Ethan didn't do well in school today. At the end of the day, here's the feedback from the teacher: lots of crying, didn't eat much at lunch, each time he's on the corridor, he was reluctant to re-enter the classroom, claiming that Daddy and Mummy were coming to pick him up. When I fetched him at 4.30pm, he was the first to dash out from the classroom. And I noticed that there was some moistness under his nose.When I asked if he'd been crying, he nodded. And shortly after, he said, "Ethan hungry." In fact, he was famished! He gobbled down 4 candy sweets, and a small packet of raisins. And when a stranger mum stood in front of him with a packet of cookies, he reached out for them with his hand.
It's heart-wrenching to see how hungry he was, and find out what a bitter day he had had in school. If he continues not to eat a proper lunch in school for the next couple of days, I will bring him home for lunch at noon, and send him back for classes at 1.30pm. Perhaps I should also come up with a list of English words that Ethan uses, with their corresponding French translations, to aid the French teacher in understanding him.
This is the scene outside school near 4.30pm. Many parents standing around to await the opening of the blue doors through which they enter to fetch their kids.
Ethan didn't do well in school today. At the end of the day, here's the feedback from the teacher: lots of crying, didn't eat much at lunch, each time he's on the corridor, he was reluctant to re-enter the classroom, claiming that Daddy and Mummy were coming to pick him up. When I fetched him at 4.30pm, he was the first to dash out from the classroom. And I noticed that there was some moistness under his nose.When I asked if he'd been crying, he nodded. And shortly after, he said, "Ethan hungry." In fact, he was famished! He gobbled down 4 candy sweets, and a small packet of raisins. And when a stranger mum stood in front of him with a packet of cookies, he reached out for them with his hand.
It's heart-wrenching to see how hungry he was, and find out what a bitter day he had had in school. If he continues not to eat a proper lunch in school for the next couple of days, I will bring him home for lunch at noon, and send him back for classes at 1.30pm. Perhaps I should also come up with a list of English words that Ethan uses, with their corresponding French translations, to aid the French teacher in understanding him.
1st Day of School
Ethan started kindergarten school in Amiens, France, on 1 Sept 2011. He was excited about it, and was eager to carry his own school bag, which had just an extra set of clothes. It was a short day for him, from 2.30pm - 4.30pm. Glimpses of his classroom:
There were many crying kids when we arrived. And Ethan joined in too, when we turned to leave the classroom.
At the end of the day, he was glad to see us again and leave the school, evident from the photographs below.
There were many crying kids when we arrived. And Ethan joined in too, when we turned to leave the classroom.
At the end of the day, he was glad to see us again and leave the school, evident from the photographs below.
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